USM Flag

The USM national flag

"Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it."
The United States of Mars (USM) is the first country founded on Mars. It was officially declared its own country in 2975, which resulted in the Martian-American Revolutionary War, that ended in 2978.

Etymology Edit

In 2970, the United States (Earth) began to call its colonies on Mars the "Martian Americas". This led to any citizens of Mars being called "Martian-Americans". This name stuck even after the Martian-American Revolutionary War, as it was the catchiest name for them. However, several other names can be used in place of "Martian-American" and still carry the same meaning. These names are "Martians", "Mars Men", and "Alien-Americans".

The USM declared its name to be "the United States of Mars" in June, 2976, when Johmas Tefferson first wrote "the UNITED STATES of MARS" in his "rough draft" of the Martian Declaration of Independence.

Because there are now two "United States", using the term "United States" to refer to either country is not usually common, although it can be understood based on context and the planet you are on.

Unlike the US on Earth, the USM uses all three of its letters in its abbreviations 100% of the time, as to avoid confusion. It also makes sense, as the 13 states of the USM are all each the only 13 colonies on Mars so far.

History Edit

In short, the USM was founded after the 13 colonies on Mars had decided that they could create a better nation if they had no need to worry about affairs on an entirely different planet, and voting was particularly difficult.

First Contact with Mars and the Founding of the Colonies Edit

The first colony to land on Mars was New Washington, named after the first colony's captain, General Adams Washington. This colony had the most difficulty reporting anything back to the Earth's US, which paved the way for the first idea of independence.

The rest of the 13 colonies were, in order of touchdown, District of New Columbia, Yorksquire, Hamsterton, Phillydelphia, Charleston Views, New Beverly, Orkraine, New Tokyo, Scorchton, Carlton, Rhodeland, and Megaton.

Independence and Expansion Edit

The Martian-American Revolutionary war started in 2976 as a direct result of the USM declaring itself independent, via a Martian Declaration of Independence, which can be downloaded here. The Earth US immediately sent a message from the president, Brance Channon, personally, saying that the USM "...better knock off that bull bull." However, by the time the USM actually received the message, it had already launched 3 missiles towards the Earth US after the Earth US had sent one near it as a "subtle warning".

The USM was surprisingly overpowered in the war, and the US on Earth lost in just 2 short years. The war resulted in the Earth US's loss of the state of Florida, now having only 48 states (after losing Oregon in World War IV). However, the loss of Florida was not the real damage. The real cost of the war for the US was the scar it had gotten to its ego after the final "Flame War" of the battle, in which the USM had "destroyed" the US by free-styling insults in a rap-like fashion to the Earth US.

The leader of the USM army, Abraham Washington, was then declared the first president of the United States of Mars.

After the war was won, the USM then began to expand its borders on Mars. The colonies on the edge of the larger, "group" colony had sent 3 representatives outward in search of hospitable land to claim for the USM. Shortly after, the colony of Quebekistan was founded in February, 2980 by Samuel de Jinnah, a French Pakistani. This was the 14th official colony of Mars. Samuel de Jinnah would also later create the Martian Bio and Geo Handbook, which documented all the small, basic forms of life he found and his geological findings while he traveled the Martian landscape.

About 6 Earth months after Quebekistan was founded, a new colony had arose named Pepper Mountain, founded by Charles Alderman.

The rest of Mars was seemingly uninhabitable, so the Mars colonists decided to steer away. However, several years later, the rest of Mars would be home to the Logosians, the alien race focused on expanding knowledge and science development.

Civil War and Reconstruction Edit

Up until 3012, the citizens of USM had been living peacefully and undisturbed. This era of peacefulness and tranquility was brought to an end when the native species had emerged from their underground residences.

These natives were about as intelligent as humans were during the Earth America's civil war, having discovered the power of guns versus pointy sticks or swords, but they were more peaceful.

The irony in that the natives' peaceful nature was that they were then taken for granted, being forced to undertake hard labor with little or no pay. They were used most often in exploration, since they were better adapted to Mars than the humans were, although the humans were already evolving into Mars-suited beings, eventually turning into the Homo marsapiens, or Marsmen, that reside there now.

The cruel treatment of the natives sparked an uproar, not in the natives, but in Mars activists. This uproar, however, then made the natives realize their poor treatment, and then had to overcome their peaceful natures to stand up for themselves and their own rights.

This resulted in a 3-year war, known as the Martian Civil War. In the end, only human lives were actually lost, as the natives had, spectacular, evolved a regeneration trait and could easily recover from being directly hit by a Mars sand storm, let alone a bullet. The major impact of this war was that the natives then became actual citizens of the USM, and not just servants to the humans that lived there. Although they had gained citizenship, the natives had a ways to go before actually being equal with the humans. Even though it was their homeland to begin with.

During one summer in the war, however, the USM had been battered by hundreds of Martian dust storms, which resulted in uncountable deaths and millions of dollars in damage. This pounding was so bad, USM officials actually thought of trying to reconnect to the Earth US, at least until they "got back on their feet". This summer later became known as the Great Sandy Pounding.

The Great Sandy Pounding was actually a turning part of the war, as it allowed the natives to keep attacking while the human colonists were being destroyed by the dust storms.

After the Martian Civil War, reconstruction had to be done to rebuild the cities, towns, and population of the USM. The natives had become less peaceful as a result of the war, but they had agreed to help somewhat in the rebuilding. They also helped the humans devise new ways to help lessen the blow of dust storms.

The reconstruction era ended in 3024.

Industrialization Edit

Starting in 3045, the USM began to create new, better technologies with the help of the Logosians who had just arrived from planet Logos in 3043, along with the natives. The Logosians taught the USM citizens about using dark matter and anti-matter and other sciences, while the humans taught the Logosians about culture and history.

The USM soon became a bustling hub of technological discoveries and advancement. Factories were built to create rocket ships for space exploration. Scientists in Yorksquire created new weapons and even genetically altered cows that could eat Martian dust, expel oxygen, and produce chocolate milk. A new strand of corn was also created that could move independently, which would actually evolve into the sentient Cornelicans of 4456.

The economy of the USM grew to greater heights than ever before, as they exported chocolate milk and a strand of cows that could eat earth rocks and make strawberry milk.

This great economical advancement would also result in a major relapse 10 years later, known as the Great Martian Depression.

However, it would later be the Industrialization era that would place the USM in the middle of the first Galactic War.

Galactic War I, Great Martian Depression, and Galactic War II Edit

In 3056, the Logosians had revealed on solar television (television ranging between Mars and Earth) that they had originally come to Mars to seek refuge from the Pathosians of planet Pathos after they had assassinated the Pathos President, Feelz von Feeldaman. However, in that year, the Pathosians had found their location and were ready to start "... bombing the ever-loving shit out of them", according to Martian-American president at the time, Wilrow Woodson.

The first attack was by the Pathosians on December 36th, 3057. They launched a mini-nuke towards the part of the planet that the Logosians had inhabited. However, the humans, being allies of the Logosians, immediately retaliated with 17,000 dark matter bombs (D-bombs for short), which devastated the Pathosians.

The Pathosians and USM humans went back and forth for 3 years, with both sides of the war being almost completely destroyed. However, the USM (alongside the Logosians) had been declared victor of the war. The Pathosians then retreated back to planet Pathos, never to be a threat to the USM again. At least, until Galactic War II.

As a result of the major economical advance in 3045 and the first Galactic War, the USM fell into a major depression as Earth humans were buying surpluses of GMO cows in the beginning and thus did not require more and the costs of D-bombs were huge money vacuums.

This caused the USM to be in over $1 million in debt, launching it into the Great Martian Depression. During this time, jobs were low, prices were high, and depression was up. 35% of the population committed suicide during this era. In 3058, president Hoobert Herver came forward to give a national speech on how the USM would recover;

"Our nation is in the greatest depression since the Earth US's Great Depression. None of us here today were alive in that time, so we must use whatever knowledge we have from how they solved their problems to solve our own. [...] This is why I propose we create an army to defend ourselves from any further threats. As my Logosian intelligence agent has told me, the Logosians are now a target of a new nation - the Ethosians. If we form this army, not only will we have a self defense in place, but we will have more jobs than ever before! Even if we don't enter this war, which we may have to to protect our Logosian brothers, we will still have more than enough jobs to pull us out of this Great Martian Depression before we give birth to a big ol' fat debt baby nine months from now! Who's with me?"
This speech inspired the USM citizens and led to the immediate creation of the USM Army, forming millions of jobs for USM citizens, and effectively pulling the USM out of its depression. At this point, the second Galactic War seemed like a blessing.

That was until the Ethosians had attacked.

The Ethosians leader, Hitlof Adler, deemed the Logosians as unethical and decided that the universe would be better without them. So they launched 20 D-bombs to them. The USM was not going to take any of that, so they retaliated with 100 D-bombs and one million armed stellar ships to attack them.

In the end, Galactic War II lasted 5 years, ended in favor of the USM and Logosians, and led to a new era of peace and tranquility as the USM had become a force that no nation would sensibly reckon with until the Hot War.

Hot War and civil rights era Edit

Twelve years after Galactic War II, the USM had begun running out of resources. It then tried to get Earth nations to send it resources, but the Earth US would not take any of that since that was how it was getting its own resources at the time. A second war between the US and the USM ensued.

The war lasted 2 years, and the USM had decided since Galactic War II to not use D-bombs, so it was a more equal fight.

After the fighting, the USM had once again reigned victorious in its "... never-ending hot streak of wars", as then president Donald Daegon put it. This quote led the war to be called the Hot War after this time.

Following the Hot War, the natives had once again realized their poor treatment, as they couldn't vote, couldn't apply for a driver's license, couldn't get a good job, and much more. Basically, they were only citizens in name.

The civil rights activist named Kartin Muther-Ling, a native Martian, changed the nation with his "I have a vision" speech. After this, and many more activist events, the USM had changed its policy towards natives once again, now making them more equal to humans than ever. It would remain this way for a long time.

Recent History Edit

From after the civil rights movement (which took place in 3077) to present day (where present day is the year 3115), the USM had remained in peace and kept advancing in the areas of science and technology with the help of the Logosians. In 3089, the Logosians actually became part of the USM by choice.

In 3100, USM citizens celebrated as the first Logosian president was elected.

Now, in 3115, the USM still remains in peace and is undisturbed.

Geography, Climate, and Environment Edit

Mars has very few mountain chains, but they are very large to make up for their scarcity. Most of the rest of the planet is either hilly and craterous from asteroid impacts or is composed of plains and plateaus.

The average yearly temperature of Mars (outside of the colonies) is -67°F (-55°C) at night and 68°F (20°C) at noon. Inside the colonies, however, the average temperature is that of Earth's Wisconsin, thanks to artificial biomes created to help keep the colonies habitable.

The environment of mars contains simple plants and very simple animals. As such, it is undisturbed, since there is nothing to be taken from it anyways. You can read about the wildlife of Mars in the Martian Bio and Geo Handbook by Samuel de Jinnah.

Demographics Edit

Population Edit

The USM has about 12 million citizens, mostly comprised of humans, which make up about 67% of the total population. The races of the humans is mostly equal. Logosians represent about 25% of the total population. Natives represent 5% of the total population, ironically. Lastly, the remaining 3% of the population is made up of those who identify as one or more of the above, usually a crossbreed of the natives and humans.

Language Edit

The citizens of the USM mostly speak Earth English, as that is what the colonists spoke when they arrived, and is thus the nation's official language. However, many citizens also speak the native language, known as Marsish, and some speak Logosian, the language of the Logosians.

Each of these languages have their own pages on this wiki, excluding English, because if you don't know what that is, you couldn't be reading this right now.

Religion Edit

When the colonists arrived, many of them were christian or atheist, and that was true for most of the population until the natives appeared from their Martian caverns. The natives believed in seventeen gods that overlooked their realm, and many colonists' children who played with the natives adopted their beliefs, called Margelican. After the Logosians appeared, many more people turned atheist, though not all.

The beliefs of more than one god impacted the USM so much as to even make its way into the pledge of allegiance.

Since the arrival of the Logosians, the religions of the USM have been pretty much 50% atheist, 20% christian, 25% Margelican, and 5% other.

Family Structure Edit

As of 3110, 60% of the population of the USM is married, 50% of which have one or more kids. Of the remaining 40% of the population, 20% have one or more children.

Many families have eight children, as the reproductive cycles of the native Martians and the Logosians both produce usually eight children, eight months after impregnation.

63% of the USM population stay within their own species when marrying, but this does not mean they are not willing to marry one of a different species. In fact, of this 63%, 92% said they had once been in a relationship with someone from a different species. The reason they only seem to marry inside their species is probably that it is hard to get married when the relationship is between different species.

Those who do marry outside of their species actually seem to be happier, with a more active sex life, as the natives and Logosians have more ways to have sex, most of which the humans could never have thought of, and the humans' ways of sex are also unheard of by the Logosians and natives.

Government and Politics Edit

Much like the Earth US, the USM is a representative democracy in which the citizens vote every few years on a new representative to make laws and decisions on their behalf.

Many aspects of Earth US politics are in place in the USM, except for that there is no separation of political parties, but instead the people vote for whoever they feel is the best fit.

A governor for each colony, which were renamed as states, is also elected, and the Logosian territories act as their own body, much like Canada.

Military Edit

Since the second Galactic War, the USM has had an immense and powerful army, which it uses to defend itself with a plethora of weapons and infantry. It is the most powerful country in the solar system.

Law Enforcement and Crime Edit

In the USM, not many laws are broken, as the people there are descended from the select few who were specifically chosen to inhabit Mars, and as such had to be law-abiding. It is also because the native Martians are still peaceful peoples, though not as much as they once were, and the Logosians, who are focused on knowledge, think it better to follow the human laws as best they can so they do not lose their refuge.

The law is enforced by a select group of humans who are fast, strong, and quick-witted who are told what to do by the Logosians. They peacefully apprehend anyone who breaks the law.

Culture Edit

Education Edit

As a result of how peaceful the country is within its own borders, the citizens are very well-taught. They learn about the history of not only their nation, but all other nations that are recorded in history. They are also taught everything they need to know about the world, as well as math, science, technology, etc. College in the USM is free.

Food Edit

The natives of Mars ate the simple life forms of Mars in a variety of wars. To humans, the taste is strong and sweet, spicy, salty, or meaty, depending on what the life form they eat is.

The humans brought with them all the foods of the Earth cultures, which the Logosians like more than the natives.

Finally, the Logosians eat purple, red, grey, and blue mush that simulates the taste of many foods. It's like astronaut food.

Literature and Art Edit

The humans continue to write novels and books following the genres of Earth literature. The Logosians love the humans' writings, as they usually provide powerful insights and moral teachings. The natives feel more or less indifferent with the human writings, as their own writings are much the same.

The art of the humans was dull until the natives appeared, sparking the same artistic curiosity and imaginative thinking that happened in the Renaissance, as well as new curiosity that showed up when they discovered a completely new life form. The same happened again when the Logosians arrived.

The humans produce human masterpieces almost monthly, and the Logosians are completely fascinated by the art works. However, the natives can't understand why the humans are so obsessed with them and the Logosians.

Music Edit

Human music was brought over by the colonists. As with every other aspect of humans, the Logosians love the human music, while the natives are indifferent.

Logosian music is more of a mix of doo-wop and dubstep. Humans have very differential opinions on Logosian music. Natives completely hate it, and it serves as a "brown note" to some natives.

Native music is like the music of native Africans on Earth. Logosians and humans both completely adore it.

Cinema Edit

Human cinema and movies were brought over with them. Again, Logosians love it. Natives actually love the cinema and television programs more than the Logosians, it would seem. This may be because of how it is very relaxing to them.

Logosians have tried to recreate the cinema and movies of humans. While some Logosian movie makers are successful and create box office hits, many Logosians fail in this attempt, though it is up to interpretation if their movies are good or not.

Natives also try to make human-type movies, but they add their own uniqueness to it. Many native movies are loved by all humans, Logosians, and natives alike.

Sports Edit

The humans, once again, brought Earth sports, which Logosians love. Natives think that Earth sports are actually fun and interesting.

Logosians, being focused on knowledge, did not really create any sports, but they do play chess and card games a lot, and there is even a National Chess/Card League because of it. Some humans and natives actually like to watch the Logosians, but many just find them boring.

The Natives play rudimentary sports, such as sports where they kick a round stone around and into a "goal area", which they call "Kickrock". Human children love it, and there is actually a National Kickrock League, but it only shows games on the native channel on TV. Logosians are indifferent about the natives sports, and just the natives in general. This may because they have seen many civilizations like the natives in their travels.

Media Edit

In USM television, most of the channels play sitcoms and cartoons, which are of great quality. They have improved greatly since the days of Earth, and have improved even more so as a result of the appearances of the Logosians and the natives. Popular TV shows in the USM include:

  • That's So Laraven (a reboot of That's So Raven using an all-native cast)
  • Last Two Weeks Tonight (a spiritual successor to Last Week Tonight; extended to two weeks because the calendars were extended)
  • Brian, Bryan, and Briun (a sitcom following the adventures of triplets that are each one of the three different races existing on Mars)
  • Mystical Monday (a monster-of-the-week show that acts as this era's X-Files)

Science and Technology Edit

When the humans first arrived, they had the Earth sciences and technologies to help them. Not until the Logosians arrived did they make any major discoveries in science (besides the discovery of life on Mars).

The Logosians brought the humans the knowledge of using dark and anti matter as energies and weapons, as well as the knowledge of making better GMOs.

The native Martians were launched into the realms of science when they first came out of their caverns, as they had very basic understandings of the universe before they emerged. The scientific advancements made when they first appeared was almost too much for them to handle. At first, the natives thought the humans were sent from their gods to help them overcome their difficulties and help the advance. However this quickly changed when the natives were then taken in as servants by the USM citizens.

Major Scientific Advancements Edit

  • 3012, sentient life discovered on Mars
  • 3023, a group of people trying to protect the USM from dust storms, known as the Dust Storm Prevention Squad (DSPS), is formed; later that year, Dust Storm Prevention Domes (DSPDs) are invented
  • 3024, DSPDs are now widespread, preventing $20 trillion in dust storm damage
  • 3034, Baton Qwinett invents the anti-ray gun (a gun that destroys light, creating miniature black holes)
  • 3043, sentient life beyond our own solar system found
  • 3045, anti-ray gun improved, higher efficiency; D-Bombs created in what is now called the Manhattan Project Mk II, in which Logosian and human scientists teamed up to create stronger weapons
  • 3046, GMO technology creates strawberry and chocolate milk cows and a strand of corn that could move independently; dark matter successfully integrated into space travel
  • 3048, GMO tech successfully makes all humans immune to the common cold (although shortly after a new strain named the uncommon cold evolves that everyone is vulnerable to)
  • 3050, solar television invented, making it possible to send TV waves (renamed STV waves) between two planets
  • 3063, native Martians found to be able to interbreed with humans, and the same with Logosians
  • 3078, first tri-species (human, native, and Logosian) baby is born with four arms, super strength, and an inexplicable likeness of chocolate cheese (cheese made from chocolate milk cows)
  • 3100, first Logosian president
  • 3107, Apple2 invents the super-intelligent phone (a phone that is basically sentient) known as the Yphone

Health Edit

As of 3114, USM citizens are among the healthiest people in the solar system (in the galaxy if you ask a Logosian). In fact, the USM is regarded as a half-world country, meaning it does even better off than first-world countries.

The common cold is all but extinct, but a new strain named the uncommon cold has evolved and is the most common (ironically) illness of USM citizens. However, only 1 out of every 1000 cases can lead to severe problems.

Trivia Edit

  • The USM's history seems to model it's mother country's history very accurately in terms of major events
  • It is illegal to sniff a rose and then immediately eat it in the USM
    • For more weird laws in the USM, go here
  • Although Logosians, natives, and humans can interbreed, the offspring of any two species can be unpredictable
  • As a result of the planet's coppery air, humans and Logosians living on Mars have evolved red hair as a dominant trait, and most humans now have a slight red tint in their skin
    • Some could even say that USM residents are now a completely different race than any found on Earth
  • Natives and Logosians learned the humans' language much easier than the humans would learn either of the two other races' respective languages